"Makoto, underneath all the emotionally abused, naive, cloying unrequited lover routine, you are quite astute." - Rei

Only God Can Judge
Season 1, Episode 14
Vital statistics
Release Date October 24, 2015
Episode Length 6:11
Episode guide
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Team Screaming Exercise Probably Just A Typo

Episode SummeryEdit

The team congradulates Rei on keeping up, and survivng, their swim through the ocean. That evening, they eat pizza with Gou and Miho. There, Makoto explains to Rei that he's part of their family. He says that they're all on the swim team because they wouldn't be accepted anywhere else. Rei is surprised to discover that Makoto's right.

Gou runs into her brother and Nitori while searching for Japanese Mayonnaise. Rin asks her if she brought the Iwatobi team there on purpose, because she knew Samezuka Academy would be there but she answers in the negitive and explains that the guys are training in the ocean. He asks her if Makoto is really okay with that, seeing as he's afraid of the Ocean Goblin. It seems that Makoto's dad told him about it as well and he personally blames the goblin for a kid on his team being hit by a jet ski.

That night, Rei sneaks out in order to swim in the ocean. Unfortunately, a storm strikes up and he is tossed about by the waves. Makoto wakes up because he senses that he needs to protect someone and then Haruka wakes up because he senses a distrubance in the ocean. Nagisa worries that he might have forced Haru to drink too much sea water. Makoto has already swam out into the ocean to save Rei by the time Haru and Nagisa check on them in their tent.

Haru jumps into the water after they see Makoto trying to rescue Rei and Nagisa follows hesitantly. He reaches Rei before the others, despite being the last one in, and they are swept away by a large wave. Haru drags Makoto out of the water and then agrues with himself about what to do when he discovers that Makoto isn't breathing. After hearing the goblin, Haru realizes that he doesn't have much time and leans in to give Makoto mouth-to-mouth however at the last minute, Makoto chokes up sea water and shouts out his hatred of the ocean.

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Video DescriptionEdit


Remember kids, it's cool to brush your teeth. It's NOT cool to steal a plane from a government airfield, crash it into the oval office and demand to know where they are KEEPING THOSE ALIENS. WE KNOW THEY EXIST. WE KNOW THEY HAVE SPACE DRUGS. GIVE US THE SPACE HIGH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Haru, Rin - Makoto, Nagisa, Rei - K/Gou - Narrator - Nitori - Ocean Goblin and Additional Editing help -

As always 50% Off! is produced and written by Octopimp and SparkytheAndroid as a parody of Free! Iwatobi Swim Club. If you want to watch Free! head on over to:​​​.

Characters AppearingEdit

In order of appearance:


  • Japanese Mayonnaise is a real thing. It is thicker and sweeter than American Mayo and is apparently popular enough that Japan makes mayo flavored ice cream.
  • At 4:55, the Ocean Goblin can be heard moaning the word "bones."